God will take you when He wants to.

God will take you when He wants to.

I have tried to save people from suicide, but I have mixed feelings about that. For some, it gets way better; for others, it all turns to shit and end up offing themselves either way. The irony in this is I’m who needs saving.

People will jump to say that suicide is selfish; when the fact is that the people who insist a person must stay alive and die a natural death are the selfish ones.

I get into this argument all the time. It’s my personal opinion and I do not see how my belief or lack of any has anything to do with my world views.

“Yep, this is the answer. Suicide is a sin, because God will take you when He wants to. “

The same people that support this view are oddly the same folks that have no answer as to why there is so much suffering and agony in the world and where is their god when a toddler is in walking distance from death.

As a religious person that sports the same mentality, what’s your take on medical aid created to help prolong life, to help fight off sicknesses, your annual flu shot? If it is unnatural to end someone’s life prematurely, then must be unnatural to postpone someone’s death right? Is that why you oppose any life-saving medicine and hide behind “Prayer” and “Its God’s will, so shall it be”, no?

Most media & religions will veer far in one direction (far left or far right), sometimes with religious connotations. You try & make a blog using the “G” word and Euthanasia in the same sentence and everybody is circle jerking in the comments sections because people just get off that shit.

The most irrational people are often the loudest, and in religion, the loudest tend to get the most notice and Euthanasia applicants lay on their death bed until they draw their last breath asking for a glass of water because they had been starved off & the feeding tube has been taken out to try and fast track their death.



How comfy is a Death Bed.

I just would like to share the following anonymous posts that I have been lucky enough to read and somewhat take a step into their lives, well at least a fraction of it…

These are incredibly heart-warming and yet so sad to read & acknowledge the fact that somebody, somewhere out there is experiencing pretty much the same bullshit that they are and there’s sadly nothing one could do about it, to neither change their medical condition nor win a lottery to pay off their medical bills.


Seeing my grandfather in a hospice was one of the worst experiences of my life, and if he could see himself laying in that bed like that, slowly being starved to death, he would have wanted someone to hand him a gun so he could put himself out of his misery.

  1. Alzheimer

No one should be allowed to make that decision for you. If you think that, spend time with someone with Alzheimer’s. I took care of my grandmother in law the last year of her life 24/7.

She went from someone who had moments of clarity and could enjoy simple things to losing the ability to walk, write, read or say a single comprehensible sentence and finally the ability to eat.

At the end I was trying to keep her alive on applesauce and she couldn’t swallow that. Hospice took over where she spent a week 1/2 there dying of starvation/dehydration. She got so hot at the last few moments.

She cooked herself. She just rambled deliriously until she couldn’t any longer.

Before she got to the swallowing part she said almost daily she wanted to die. Even when she was out of her mind she would get lucid for maybe a minute and would get that out. I don’t blame her. Once she begged me to kill her. After watching her truly suffer I would kill myself one way or another if I found out I had this. It’s worse than anything I have ever seen.

One of the hardest things I have ever seen was in the span of a few days watch her lose her husband in her mind. One day she looked up at me with tears in her eyes asking me who her husband’s name was? They had been married for over 50 years and he had died 5 years before.


  1. Something

My mother had stage 4 stomach cancer… only after a while it wasn’t stomach cancer anymore because they removed her stomach… and many other things.

Imagine at some point just not ever eating food again, but only having a white fluid pumped into your veins for 18 hours a day, in a bag you need help carrying. Not being able to dress or bathe yourself. Not having full control of your bowels. Burps that might contain what is essentially your own shit. Constant excruciating pain, having full mental capacity and seeing the pity and sadness by everyone around you… and knowing you’re never getting better.

And knowing that you’re only going to suffer worse and worse, every day until you die, that there is no recovery coming.

The only thing coming is dying and that your death is the only positive event left in your life.

As someone that helped take care of a family member with extreme dementia and diabetes, even when she never spoke a word and mostly cried because she would remember her mother and father were dead (15 years ago but it was new for her every time), I really wish she could have been out of that misery instead of suffering for years. In her brief moments of clarity (until there weren’t any) she would let us know she wanted to die.

I watched her lay in that bed crying and defecating herself for so long. Feels bad man.


Do I look at hospitals as hellish? Fuck yeah. It has absolutely nothing to do with the dreadful interior or combination of cleaning chemicals & urine on the floor & (I don’t know how it got there) ceiling. It’s nothing to do with the staff either, in fact most doctors and some nurses seem pretty happy and  jazz talk around the Espresso Machine  like everyone else. It’s mostly the screams.

Euthanasia: The Public ‘Verdict’

Giving the public some form of say on whether to euthanize you or not makes no sense to me.

[On death & euthanasia] I think its funny how, that if I want to die with peace and dignity that there’s someone far away that can prevent it.

Someone’s like [strong THOTTY accent] ‘Hi, like, I just wanted to call. Like This is Champagne Lexi from Sin City, Las Vegas.

So like, I heard that you’re trying to kill yourself and I just wanna say that, well, you can’t.’


‘Yeah, its not right, because all life is precious.’

‘No, my life isn’t precious, I’ve been reduced to a shit and piss factory. I hurt always. I’m going to die within a year and I’m in pain constantly.’

‘Oh, but um…no. Because of the Bible.’

‘Well, I don’t believe in the Bible.’

‘Well, I do, silly!’

[Hangs up]

And just like that, you’re fucked for an additional 10 more fucking miserable years of constant pain & emotional turmoil because the state will not carry through an assisted suicide even with, 99% of everyone that you know (and have no fucking idea as to how they came into your life, let alone the court room) having voted for your medically induced death.


Insurance Policies on Euthanasia:

We definitely need to fix our bat shit evil healthcare system first. The issue isn’t just the potential for coercion. There’s also the issue of insurance.

If Euthanasia becomes legal, then it may be possible for insurance companies to pay for suicide but not pay for the treatment to continue living. Also, you cannot just cross the border to a state with the “Death with Dignity” act. You must be a resident in one of them (a select few). Insurance companies have a 6-month cap on hospice care. Now think about being a patient in hospice for 8 months and let the idea sink in that the insurance company will kick you out of hospice if you, a terminal patient, lives too long… They don’t give a fuck about you.

  • Pets don’t pay taxes.
  • Other household animals can’t sue.
  • The long-term ill do not pay taxes, they do not work nor can they.

I’m also sure that Insurance companies would have a ball with screwing people out of their life insurance, and medical costs.

In Canada individuals have challenged the law against euthanasia all the way up to the Supreme Court. The case of one woman in particular, Sue Rodriguez, became quite famous. Sue had ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) or Lou Gehrig’s disease, a degenerative motor neuron disease (you gradually lose control of all your muscles and become a fully functioning brain trapped in a prison of a body) with no known cure (in fact, doctors know next to nothing about it, or what causes it). She argued that since she was terminally, inevitably wasting away, with no hope of improvement, but was still of sound mind, she should be able to make the decision to end her own life.

She lost the case (this was in 1994 mind you), and wound up taking her own life with an anonymous physician’s assistance..


After Life: Getting there…

Since we’re not certain about life after death and whether a god does exists or not, we’re basically just throwing darts at a wall and seeing what sticks. Some people never bother with trying to figure it all out and accept whatever they’re told. There’s no real way to know…besides death of course – even then, that’s not guaranteed now is it? Nobody really knows.  Life is one mass calculated assumption that is believed to be true without any further testing or a calculus to prove its foundation, its forefather: a time before a God.

Euthanasia: has made it cleaner and easier than blowing your head off clean with a double barrel shotgun akin to ancient Japanese ritual(s) committing suicide by jabbing a dagger into their heart when they feel the tiniest amount of shame* Samurai Jack.

Why is Euthanasia or Assisted Suicide “illegal” anyways? I suppose I haven’t ever really looked into this enough to find out the reasons against it. I’ve always searched for reasons to have it legalized, researching on mental & physical disorders, watching short films on people living with Alzheimer and conducting interviews on why they feel they are better off than living with this burden but no once have I stopped to think about it in reverse…

Is it because the government is trying to be a moral god, when it should be protecting and helping us? Are they too succumbing to Taboo’s and folk lore about death & the consequences of the act of ending or assisting in ending a life?

There should be more of a separation between church and state, but there isn’t. You commit suicide, you go to hell, right?

Instead, you get to sit and rot in a hospice doped up out of your mind so you don’t feel the pain until you die a natural death. Prolonging your suffering all because they don’t want to get their hands ‘dirty’ in carrying through your dying wishes.

Judge Fabricius on the Pretoria High Court in South Africa, whose recent judgment effectively legalised, assisted suicide in this country:

“A person is not obliged to live no matter what his/her quality of life is.”

Because everyone knows what’s right for you except yourself, duh. What New World Order Era have you been living in?


Does the manner of death influence the sometimes brief or otherwise what feels like an eternal ‘afterlife’ experience? (Afterlife: I say this – or type – rather lightly as one cannot confirm of an afterlife just yet nor describe it in detail.)

Have the very same folks who’ve seen something in their NDE go further into this state than those who felt or saw absolutely nothing but darkness (or vice versa) during their experience with death? Is it possible those who felt and saw nothing were experiencing what it means to be a soul freed from the body but not being able to move on and/or being trapped in a dreamless sleep because they couldn’t comprehend that they were dead? Maybe those who saw loved ones but couldn’t interact were still in transition or morphing into a ghost?

The causes of Near Death Experiences vary greatly from one terminally ill cancer survivor to a suicide attempt gone wrong however it’s the visuals and mind altering experiences that have a common pattern. If everyone had seen the old classic ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ vision during their NDE, that would be fine, on the other hand if everyone had been seen the same specific Angel with Clubmaster Ray-bans on at the pearly gates, than shit gets really weird…


The God-Helmet

Neuroscientists may have discovered a small fragment of the brain that had once been believed to have no important function and have even gone as far as stating that the human brain and body would not be harmed & it will still be fully functional should they have it surgically removed. However a new study suggests that this may not be the case as a helmet that emits electrical pulses in that specific region of the brain has been invented.

You could say that all it does is increase the DMT levels in the brain region to a significant amount inducing a psychedelic trip also known for spiritual visions and travelling into a ‘third dimension’ and you wouldn’t be wrong, but then again nothing is ever certain.

The end result of the simulation however revealed that both the test subjects and NDE survivors have reported the same thing & this came to the conclusion that our mind may have something to do with the visual effects & ‘feeling’ one experiences during death, which may also upset many theists.


Tunnel Vision

The stories do not change much and all fall inline of having seen their own body from the distant corner of the room’s ceiling or seeing an angel / loved one being accompanied by an angel(s) at the end of the tunnel (into the white light) and sometimes nothing at all. They recall feeling nothing & seeing nothing. And by nothing, they don’t mean pitch darkness or neutral emotion. It’s just a thing of its own. It’s a colour with no light because even black is a composition of colour and light. You just can’t put together anything but the word “nothing” in the form of a noun rather than an adjective.

“Jimmy* was only dead for about a minute but he said it felt like an eternity. At first he thought it might be purgatory, but the longer it went on the more it felt like he had gone to hell. I can’t imagine a hell worse than being alone in total darkness for eternity”. It is inevitable for everyone to enter the void (Buddhism’s equivalent of Heaven) , which may or may not feel like hell to a certain extent, at some point or another.

“The reason some people are scared of it is simply because they don’t realize the potential of the void. They have spent their entire life trying to be SOMETHING to be SOMEONE to forge an identity, they never realized that they came from the void and would return to the void – they never practiced the discipline of attempting to return back to their true state in meditation (the act of being hollow and empty).

In all actuality, the void is everything – it is all life, the primordial ooze that meditators seek to return to. When you see it in the right light – a blank canvas with the ability to become anything – the void is no longer terrifying, but the beginning of all things, especially a new life”


What is life but our brain’s perception of it? Your eye’s see & your brain re-acts, here (at Rekall) we remove the middle man & go straight into the chemistry. Does that make it any less real?